Harmony and Expectations

I learned of two concepts over a decade ago when I read the book For All Eternity.  Both ideas have stuck with me this long so I value them.  As I have moved professionally into a management role I have deliberately attempted to analyze my thought processes and how I come to solutions, that I may teach this to others.  While I have these two ideas in my mind I thought I would share them.

All frustration comes from unmet expectation

It is a simple sentence but it helps identify where frustration comes from.  Going in more depth it also enables you to control your frustration, or at least manage it to some extent.

If all frustration comes from unmet expectation.  When frustrated you can analyze which expectations were not met.  Once you identify the expectation you had you can then ask yourself if that expectation is reasonable or not.  If it is reasonable then your frustration is merited.  If it is not reasonable your frustration may be useless and hopefully you can laugh it off adjusting your expectation.

Harmony is the product of being different together

We each have different talents and gifts.  I believe this and think it is doctrinally sound.  Some management books encourage homogeneity and getting everyone able to do everything but I instead try to encourage those around me to lean into their talents. I think it important to facilitate this harmony then get out of the way of the talented people I work with.

In the home I find it very important to teach my kids to strive for a harmonious atmosphere.  I want each of them as individuals to shine in their own way, and not to overwhelm or crowed out each other.  My 3 oldest are all girls and they each have such different yet beautiful personalities.  If I as a father just view them all as a group of "my kids" I am missing the true individual beauty of each child.  When we have harmony in the home I find it literally a small slice of heaven.  Harmony is not always achieved obviously but it is also not a stranger.

Applying both principles

When I combine these two ideas I find a powerful tool.  One of the things that drives away the harmony is frustration.  As I teach my kids to better articulate the cause of their frustration, identifying their own expectation and determining/negotiating what is reasonable we find a way to get back to harmony.  The very harmony that lets each child seek what they desire and find what interests them while still articulating expectations.

In business it is a very similar process, finding what you expect and articulating that is a big step in being satisfied with your work and with others to be satisfied with you.  On a team you have the increased complexity of finding harmony in our efforts for the product.  When expectation is clearly set out for the team each individual starts to get a clear picture of what part they have in the success of the team.

For my friends who understand the SSH I add this:
I find this very useful in helping those undecided individuals with gamma leanings to naturally perform more as deltas.  It's not just posturing to get what you want from people but instead it's finding what secret frustration exists that push someone to the secret king attitude, but instead helping them resolve those frustration, then filling the frustration with purpose.